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Today was going to be my post on homemade chicken noodle soup...but my mind is going and that ain't gonna happen today.
I have felt truly blessed with doing this blog. I have had the most fabulous features, and wonderful comments, more than I could of imagined. Just over the past couple weeks Better After, The DIY Showoff, Babble, Full House, Tip Junkie, La Factoria Plastica, and Facilisimo, featured me and I was truly honored. These are fellow bloggers I that admire and have put out the effort of promoting other blogs/bloggers and projects.
And then there is another. A totally different blog that I truly adore, and always will. Apartment Therapy, I heart them. And yesterday, late afternoon, they featured our 35th Street Kitchen, and to say that I was floored is completely true. Just about dropped my phone...
Then I read the comments....oh, the comments. I am all about constructive criticism and suggestions, but this was just harsh. I am TOTALLY a non-confrentational person, like big time. I just nod and absorb. Nod and Absorb... I despise arguing.
I read a few, out loud to another friend and thought, wow...but we agreed to possibly let it slide. Evidently the commenters and myself are on different wave lengths here. I don't know what happened to me next, maybe it was the carpool lane from picking up the offspring or the lack-there-of caffeine and/or sugar, but I walked in and refreshed the comments, only to find I had been verbally thrown up on. Wow...like a whole 24 hour stomach bug...yup, it was bad.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have received bad comments before, my fair share, and I just don't reply unless it is a sensible question on a product or how to. But this is different. I began to figure out that no one had really read my post, they just commented off of the three pictures Apartment Therapy posted. Apartment Therapy said in the post 'The result of this makeover is dramatic, and while it may not be a dream kitchen, it shows that a small budget and a willingness to work hard can rescue any room from terminal drabness', so, they got it. But, evidently the others didn't read this and just commented.
Needless to say, I sat down and basically wrote the encyclopedia britannica, volumes I, II & III and hit the publish button. I felt the need to explain. I probably shouldn't of and of course after I submitted it, I paced like a new father in the waiting room, probably wearing my carpet down way too much and then came back to refresh after two or so minutes. It felt like hours...
I had some love but then came to several comments where I received hate about my font on my blog. Ouch...I know it's hard to read, I really do. I have been meaning to change it, but I started working with a fabulous gal on a whole new, different design. So I didn't want to mess with it and just install a new design. Guess I wasn't expecting to be bashed on font, yowza...
I was planning on starting my posts on the next house I was going to show that we flipped, but I started having cold feet this afternoon. I guess I am just one that I only comment if I like it and leave it alone if it's not my style. Everyone I have come across in 'blogland' is all about helping each other, promoting everyone else and sincerely helpful. Maybe I just hit a bad patch...
I got in the car to drop off everyone to all their activities, I was crazy happy Breaking Benjamin was on. It let me pound out my thoughts on the steering wheel, then I switched to The Avett Brothers and collected my thoughts...Man, music is my therapy.
I know everything will NOT go smooth, after all I am totally putting myself out there on the www for other people to see. Maybe I shouldn't be so vulnerable? But after reading House of Hepworths battle on facebook the other day, I felt the need to 'explain' myself. I probably should of been the bigger person (like I tell the offspring) and left it alone...
I am in NO way hating on Apartment Therapy, I love them and what they do, all of their inspirations. Guess I was just blindsided on this?
Soooo, here is my question to you. What's your norm? How do you respond when someone feels the need to express their opinion? Or do you even reply?
Sorry to verbally barf on you and whine about it, promise it won't happen....for a while :). Just curious
A
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DON"T let it get you down!!!! i was featured once on AT, and i had people saying it looked like i just slapped paint on and they could do it themselves and it looked like i didn't even prime or sand (because they saw a before and after and not the middle). i was annoyed, but what can you do? some people are just miserable beings who get their kicks off making others feel bad. instead of letting it upset you, feel sorry for them because their life must totally suck to have to take it out on someone they don't even know.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Cassie! I follow you with my reader and was WOWed by that kitchen transformation when I read your post. It's crisp and bright and it's obvious to me how much thought and hard work you put into it. I get it!!! I didn't leave a comment, but I should have because you did a FABULOUS job!!!
ReplyDeleteit seems to me that each blog develops its own community, with very well-defined norms and tastes, and those are reinforced by alpha dogs who quickly and viciously post when things are outside the norm for that particular blog. if you would like an example of one of these microcosms, check out boston.com's comments: while boston and massachusetts are perceived as very liberal, boston.com (linked to the boston globe) has a dependable community of rabid and racist anti-immigrant posters, who will blame our governor's "Welfare State" "welcoming" illegal immigrants for every single news story that gets published: bank robbery with a white suspect?, somehow the result of illegals; eight-time drunk driver arrest? an illegal (even though the person had a driver's license). I'm sure if they bothered to read AT, they would blame your kitchen cabinets on illegal immigrants. so, you just have to realize your remake didn't fall within the confines of the AT 'mean girls' tastes. there are probably a million more AT readers who don't subscribe to those tastes, and NEVER comment or even read the comments, so you won't hear from them. like me. and then you also have to remind yourself, "will this bother me in a week? or in a month?"
ReplyDeleteWell that is just crazy. I am like you, if it isn't my style I just don't comment. I also have the ability to recognize the talent it took and beauty in something even if it isn't particularly what I would want in MY home. kwim?
ReplyDeleteSome people took an extra dose of their Mean Pill this week I guess.
Sorry that happened to you.
I always try to be kind. If I don't like it, I don't comment. But, over the past few years I have learned that there are some people out there that just have to talk (or type). They think the world will be a better place just because they've laid out their opinions. Try to take it with a grain of salt because you know you worked wonders with that kitchen! You have an amazing talent and I love that you share. My entire family was playing games over Thanksgiving and passing around my phone looking at your Fish Scale installation. Keep on doing what you're doing because you are amazing at it! I can't wait to see what you've done next!
ReplyDeleteIt's part of life. You always have to take the good with the bad. Sometimes there is more bad out there. The way I see it, if I can inspire just one person out of 100, then I feel it was all worth it. Look at some of the negative comments and see if there is any reasonable validity to it. Maybe there is and you can use it as constructive criticism. Maybe not. But always look to that one person that you inspired or that one person that appreciates what you so. And also, at the end of the day, you have to like what you've done. If you love it, then Noone else's opinions really matter. That's the way I see it anyway. Keep doing what youre doing and remember to Smile. Hope you have a great day
ReplyDeleteDennis
I just have to tell you I started following your blog because of that kitchen makeover. I saw it on Better After and had to come to your site to see how you did it and I love reading your blog. Keep it up and forget those that feel the world will end of they don't give their two cents even if its not worth one. But thanks for making me happy with your projects and posts! :)
ReplyDeleteHow sad that some people have to be so critical. I think we all have strengths and weaknesses and if someone thinks they can do better, then just move on. I applaud anything that anyone tries, and Lord knows, I certainly can't do half of what everyone else can do. So critical remarks are just a sign of someone who is really not very nice and someone that I don't think deserves my time or consideration. You did a lovely job redoing the kitchen. Just keep up the good work. Hugs, Marty
ReplyDeletealso, anyone who spent time commenting but did not spend time reading your original post is uninformed and ignorant, so their opinion completely and totally does not count. I kind of liked the look of the original cabinets too, until I read your blog and saw that they were glued on wood strips and I agree--the horror! the horror!! and final final point: the reason I read your blog post is because of the "pressed tin" backsplash you used, which I am thinking about for our dumpy kitchen. the fact that someone who is so talented and experienced enough to remake that kitchen used materials I was thinking about gave me validation and hope--it might work here! so, I'm your one that you inspired.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I hate that . . . have you slept? I wouldn't be sleeping sweating all of that stuff. Good thing you weren't drinking wine when you responded. Think of how much worse it could be. :)
ReplyDeletegirl you have fabulous style so don't even let it get you down. i tend to say what i think right away and regret it later. your blog rocks friend!
ReplyDelete