sometimes, it's just hard...

Haven't posted much about the fire recently....

it just gets hard sometimes.

there is a ton of emptiness, so to speak,

have a hard time finding the right words for it.

I'm a planner and I want to move on and think we have.

Drove by to check on the new place a while back and decided to drive by the old

just an empty nothing.

kind of describes me as of late.

There was one tiny ball buried in the mud that I grabbed for the six year old after she asked about it, 

last ditch effort to save some sort of something? anything?

I had to pull up the #aftermath post for something the other day.

I don't usually scroll through and look at my old post, but something stopped me and I did.

So much harder than what I thought....and it sucked.

Big time.

I don't want to make this any more of a downer than what it already is,

for anyone reading.

And I felt like I was doing just that.

But for some reason, I keep feeling compelled to do just that though.

To post about it.

The good, the bad and all.

It's healing....therapy in a way.

I have heard many bloggers say that, and it is so true here, even if no one is reading it.

So many I have reached out, that I would have never of met if this hadn't of happened,

that have been through this.

They have been one of my reasons to write about it.

Most have said it was good for them to read this, healing in a way.

My youngest goes to school with the cutest little boy. I have known his mom for several years now,

first as an acquaintance and as of late, a better friend.

She and her family have gone through two house fires.

Even though she says they were smaller, it's still devastating.

Recently she sent me this:

I read your post this am and I just want you to know that it was healing. I want you to know that you are healing by expressing all of this. I didn't and kept it shoved down so far that I'm still healing. I didn't lose everything, but I know some of your feelings. I must confess sometimes I can't or won't or don't read your posts to protect my own feelings, but when I do I read how strong you really are for just surviving. I don't know God's reason for your fire or my fires except to say it has brought us to our knees. It has brought me closer to God and I know it has you. I'm thankful to know you and I feel like it's part of God's reason for knowing each other. It must be! Stay strong my friend and keep writing and saying it ALL!

If this gets hard to read, please don't worry....no feelings will be hurt.

I get it, there are several I can't read because of how raw they get and make me feel.

I really should go back and read them...this is life.

And life and crap happens, but we must go on.

Maybe this is the underlying reason why we blog?

Sure we get bookoos of ideas from food to fashion to decor,

but maybe God knows that we need each other, and to connect in a way that we can't with others.

Maybe there is someone across the states that has gone through the same thing,

or maybe their little human is across the hall from yours and you never would have been on the same level with them hadn't you written about it...

Here's to you, my sweet friends...thanks for the love and support...and all of my randomness.

He sent you for a reason, I don't know where I would be without Him or you.